Oh, Eve
by Iamwritergirl
Summary: When Rosa Viarmo, Eve Rosser's old High School best friend, gets in contact with Eve again, hilarity occurs. (Based on a roleplay between EvilEve99 and Iamwritergirl)


**Bold = Eve**

_Italics = Rosa_

Rosa programmed the number into her phone and typed up her message. She hoped it was the right number. She quickly pressed send then put her phone on the counter and filled the toaster for another round of toast.

_Yo Evie! It's Rosa . . . You remember me right?_

Eve looked up from her laptop when her phone buzzed. She opened the new text and read it. "Oh My God! Rosa!" She whispered.

**Oh yeah you! Haha! Haven't talked to you in years! (:**

Rosa smiled. So it was Eve!

_I know. So what's up in your hectic goth life?_

**Quite alot! I'm finally with Michael! Although...you proberly already knew that because of the Morganville gossip :P Haha oh well. Oh, I got fired from my job :( Cried in my room for days**

_Damn, Really? Morganville Goss never gets past my front door . . . Yes I still live with my Granma. Oliver fired you? That dick! I've never liked him. Actually I bumped into him in the coffee shop yesterday. Literally . . . He lectured me on how my shorts were indecent for someone my age. Someone should slap him . . ._

Rosa groaned, remembering Oliver telling her off, whilst buttering her toast.

**All true! We're married and everything (; We were talking about moving out but that damn Miranda threatened to kill herself (when she was the ghost of our house) if we left so I guess we had to stay -_- Sucks right! Yeah Oliver's a dick-head, no doubt :/ Really?! He should inform Monica about that. That Bitch is wearing clothes (If I can call them that...) that are barely legal! About the slapping Oliver thing...Would Amelie do? I kind of bitch-slapper her at me and Michael's engagement party:/ I'm surprised she let me go without a death sentence! So anyway, how are you doing?**

_Fine . . . My granma's in and out of hospital and my jackass of a brother still won't speak to me . . . Oh and I'm starting college! Hellz yeah . . . Really excited!_

Eve bit her Lip.

**Aww poor you :( and awesome! our little Claire has already been offered to go to MIT and everything! Oh, she's so clever (; Hey, did you know Michael's a vampire? :/ It kinda sucks sometimes, with the whole human/Vampire relationship, being a Fang-banger and all :P the humans say: "It's 'Know Thy Enemy' not 'Sleep with The Enemy'" Bitches -_-**

_Woah, Mikey has fangs now? Ok . . . Claire? As in Claire Danvers? OMG Eve you aren't in with that kinda crowd, are you? Awww man . . ._

Eve frowned as she read the last text.

**Sadly yes :/ Sucks right? (HAHAHA! I crack myself up...) Yeah her (; Heeey I love little Claire! She's like a sister to me (: Always there when I need her (; And remember Shane? Yeah, he finally gave up his cheating ways and settled down with her! It's weird, never thought the boy would change so much over one girl! They've been together for a few years now I think:P They are just so adorable! :D**

Rosa smiled. So the dick settled down?

_Ha! You crack me up too. Really her? Didn't she help Bishop or something? I don't know, and I don't care . . . I frankly don't like the vampires, they're just monsters. That reminds me . . . I have a hell of a lot of blood to donate . . . Probably won't do it. They can get it personally if they want it that bad! Hey, Shane's settled down, eh? Tell him I say Hi. Is he still gaming?_

Eve frowned, and then grinned. Rosa's still trying to be a hero? She started furiously texting. "Oi Shane!" She yelled hoping to snap Shane out of his current gaming haze.

"Hmmm?" He said, too busy shooting zombies to care. Eve smiled.

"You'll never guess who I'm talking to?" Eve said, lounging back into her armchair, watching blood and guts splash across the screen. Shane shrugged his shoulders as he furiously gamed. "Rosa. Viarmo." Shane looked at her in pure horror as he spat out whatever he was drinking. After a few seconds his horror turned into a giant grin.

"Oh. So that bitch decided to get out into the world again? Heh." Eve laughed. Shane and Rosa had always been enemies in whatever stupid thing they were deciding to argue over.

"Yeah. She's got a baby now. Oh and she says hi!" Eve smiled, thinking about a 'mini Rosa' squirming around. Shane laughed putting his controller down.

"Ha! Who's the dad?" Shane asked.

"Desmond." Eve grinned as Shane laughed even more.

"She did well! That kid must be really cute . . . " Eve grinned and got back to texting.

**Yeah, I'm hilarious. That was NOT her fault! She was hypnotised or something! I hate most of the blood-suckers, apart from my smexy husband (; Wow better get that blood donated quick! You know how cranky the blood-bank gets if you don't pay your 'Taxes'. Yeah, the kid's finally stopped cheating (; good for him anyway! He say's hey back by the way:P Although he's not really paying attention, too busy...ugh... You bet he's still gaming! He just bought a bunch of new crazy-ass zombie games for the x-box. Him and Michael have been playing them none-stop for days...wish he would spend more time with me sometimes. That's Michael, not lame-ass Shane...**

Rosa shuck her head.

_Wew, Shane isn't a lame ass. He's actually quite cool._

Eve grinned. "Guess she doesn't hate you as much now Shane!" Shane looked up.

"Oh really now? I think I can change that." He paused his game and got up to get a beer.

**HA! You obviously haven't lived with him for the past few years...The guy can be a dick sometimes...**

Rosa grinned slouching on the sofa again. Des walked in, softly cradling their month old daughter Feliciti. Rosa softly took the baby from him and snuggled back down. Nan quickly hobbled into the living room and sat on her armchair.

_Hey, I'm stuck with an 80 year old woman. Wanna swap?_

**Naaah, I like living with my hottie vampire, dumb-ass slacker and geeky friend thanks (; so anyway, what you been doing lately?**

Rosa sighed.

_Aww damn. I've literally just got back from work. My boss is being a bag of douche . . . And my Granma hasn't gone shopping. Hungry me . . ._

**Haha, me too! From my new job (: Hey, Oliver was a walking bag of douche...if that makes sense...? Really? Arn't you old enough to feed yourself? Honestly...**

Rosa got up when she heard the toaster ping. "Rosa . . ." Desmond said.

"What?" Rosa said, "It's post-pregnancy cravings." She put the baby in Des's arms and went off to sort out her toast. Suddenly something caught her eye from out of her window. Monica Morell.

_Hey you know what I'm like. I couldn't live without someone to look after me :D OMG, You'll never guess who I've just seen go past my window? Monica Morell! She's got a black eye! It's good someone gave her what she deserves . . ._

**Haha, so true! Whoaaa what?! HAHA! I can't stop laughing! Shane and Claire just stopped sticking their tongues down each-other's throats to ask me what was wrong(: Woooo Michael's back**!

Rosa quickly waved at Monica, then flicked her the middle finger.

_Tell Shane to stop torturing the girl! Oh and tell Mikey he's still cool . . . . Tempted to go give Monica another black eye. She just flicked me the V. Hmmm, might go sit out in the garden . . . Not quite sure_

**Haha I did and he AND Claire flipped me off! Oh well... What...I Don't need to tell him! I'm pretty sure he already knows...Oooooo you should, she deserves it! You might as well enjoy the day, not a good idea even stepping off the porch at night...as long as you can take your laptop!**

_Woah, a Nerd flipping someone off? Unheard of! You should tell him It's from me . . . We used to hate each other in high school. Naw she's walked past now. And yes I can take my laptop . . . I'm always portable . . ._

**Haha, we've taught Claire our rebel ways! She's always joking around like that now! No point in telling him that, Claire's winning the tongue wrestle...I might move upstairs with Michael but I don't want to get up. then do it! Sun will be setting in an hour!**

Rosa picked up her laptop and slipped her shoes on. "I'm gonna go sit outside, ok?" Des nodded and snuggled back into the seat. Nan softly rubbed Rosa's shoulder and went back to her cup of coffee. She jogged out the back door and sat on the decking of the back garden.

_I am officially in the garden . . ._

**And I'm officially in me and Michael's bedroom...I could take Claire and Shane having a tongue-war but Not when clothing started to come off...urrrrgggg...**

_eeeeeeewwwwwwwww_

**Yeah...I just shouted 'Take it to the bedroom!' before rushing out :P**

_EWWW_

**Yeaaaaah...I'm not sitting on that couch for a few days...**

_STOP THERE_

**don't worry...haha! so how's the outside world?**

Rosa smiled looking out to the plainness of the uptown bit of Morganville. No bad vampires. No bars. No fights. Nothing that was out of the ordinary. Rosa hated it. This wasn't her.

_It's good kinda boring but good . . ._

**Isn't is just (; Not like me, sitting here on my bed...with Michael next to me...being tempting...ahhh this is the life...**

_Eve, ewwww!_

**Heey! I love him, don't be an asshole!**

_I'm not being an asshole, I love Desmond, but I don't say I want to kiss him all the time._

**well I want to kiss Michael all the time (:**

_Well, OK then. So what've you done today?_

**Urg, tried to cook but failed...**

_And you teased me . . ._

**Hey you have to admit, that was hilarious!**

Rosa blushed as she remembered the incident the previous evening.

_It was embarrassing. My rubber duck is my business_

**Hahaha! You're such a baby (;**

_SHE HAD LOCKED HIM IN THE BATHROOM CUPBOARD AND ALL YOU COULD SAY AFTER I TOLD YOU WAS 'I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WERE STANDING NAKED IN FRONT OF YOU GRAN!' IT WAS RUBBER DUCK ABUSE_

**Well come on! It's a freaking rubber duck! At least mines a vampire duck (: God, you're so weird and that's coming from ME! :o**

Eve grinned at the rubber duck thing. God Rosa was weird.

_Please the conversation we had was weirder_

**Haha true that! (;**

_Would you mind if I repeated it for the world to hear?_

**urg FINNEE! Only because it's freaking hilarious! Claire and Shane almost put me in a mental hospital yesterday...**

Eve giggled. Shane looked over. "Not this again."

_ok then. SO i'm in the bath cleaning myself, as you do, and I noticed my rubber duck was missing, so I jumped out of the bath and ran downstairs.I went to my gran to see if she knew where it was. The conversation went a bit like this._

_Me: WHERE IS MR DUCKIE?!_

_Gran: Oh, he's around. Let's make a deal._

_Me: WHERE IS MR DUCKIE?! _

_Gran: You can have Mr Duckie back if you promise to visit me when you're in College._

_Me: LET ME SPEAK TO MR DUCKIE!_

_Gran: *gets mobile phone out and types number in* Hello, Mr Duckie_

_Me: *whimper* Oh god no._

_Mr Duckie: QUACK!_

_Me: ARE YOU OK MR DUCKIE?_

_Gran: *Hangs up phone* He is. FOR NOW!_

_Me: OK I'LL STAY! WHERE IS HE?!_

_Gran: The bathroom cupboard._

_Me: DUCKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEE!_

**hahahaha! XD**

_:D So, did Mikey forgive you for the puking thing?_

**umm...I don't really want to talk about that... :/**

_It was your fault you had too many pop tarts_

**I had 5...oh And I made them:/**

_Oh, that explains a lot. You know I'll teach you to cook if you want. I don't mind losing my eye brows._

**Yeah I started feeling sick after the 2nd one but I lost control of the awesomeness! You sure about that?! Claire' been trying to help me for years, never got the hang of it :P**

_Yeah I'm fine with that._

**wow...You've just given yourself a death sentence. I'm surprised Claire hasn't gone nuts from it**

_Yeah, god knows. the kid has tonnes of self-control...She's dating Shane, she must do._

**so true! Hey, I lived with Jason for most of my life, give me some credit**

_True. Hey Is Jason, you know . . . Still around?_

**Urg, don't know, don't care. Haven't seen that dick for months and I don't intend to...**

_Oh. Cuz, my brother and your brother were kinda good friends . . ._

**Yeah I know :/ You still hate your brother though!**

_Yeah._

**urg, I hate him too. He was one of those dumb assess who always tried to feel me up over the counter at the coffee shop :P**

_Really? That fucking twat!_

**I know right! Him and his friends kinda got the message once I called Michael in (;**

_Good._

**I know right (:**

_You should have just slammed him. I did quite frequently._

**I did...3 times...**

_Go you!_

**Yaaay!**

_:P_

Eve grinned, getting off the bed. "Right Mikey. I'm going to work." Michael nodded and kissed her on the nose.

Rosa smiled, turning off her laptop. Des stuck his head out of the door. "You coming in? The baby misses you." Rosa smiled. She got up and picked up her laptop.

"Kay."


End file.
